Please pick only one post type!!
'Am I alone in thinking, by the way, that it doesn't add to the status of this University to have an ape on the faculty?'
‘Yes,’ said Ridcully flatly. ‘You are. We’ve got the only librarian that can rip your arm off with his leg. People respect that. Only the other day the head of the Thieves’ Guild was asking me if we could turn THEIR librarian into an ape

- Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times (via emomarypoppins) -
Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.”
“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”
“That’s practically zen.

- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay (via loveandscience) -
It was an amazing phrase. It was practically magical all by itself. It just … made things better. A shark’s got your leg? No worries. You’ve been stung by a jellyfish? No worries! You’re dead? She’ll be all right! No worries!

- Terry Pratchett - The Last Continent (via darklordreasonable) -
The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

- Terry Pratchet, Wyrd Sisters (via themythicalfate) -


Reading Discworld means constant exposure to incredibly beautiful and heartwarming moments of humanity at its best (even when its dwarfs, trolls, golems and other people), soul-breakingly grief-making depictions of the absolute banality of evil, tearjerking sights of tragedy and loss, and more

and also puns, incredibly glorious bad puns that entire plots and books have been written solely for the purpose of

and constant bouncing between all these things without warning so you will cry and laugh at the same time, you have been warned

totally worth it

Have - have you got an appointment?’ he said.
‘I don’t know,’ said Carrot. ‘Have we got an appointment?’
‘I’ve got an iron ball with spikes on,’ Nobby volunteered.
‘That’s a morningstar, Nobby.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes,’ said Carrot. ‘An appointment is an engagement to see someone, while a morningstar is a large lump of metal used for viciously crushing skulls. It is important not to confuse the two, isn’t it, Mr-?’ He raised his eyebrows.
‘Boffo, sir. But-‘
‘So if you could perhaps run along and tell Dr Whiteface we’re here with an iron ball with spi- What am I saying? I mean, without an appointment to see him? Please? Thank you.

- ‘Men at Arms' (Discworld #15), by Terry Pratchett (via smaugy-adventures) -
It’s an unfair world, child. Be glad you have friends.

- Terry Pratchett. A Hat Full of Sky (via keeloca) -


Tiffany blinked. ‘I think you just lost me there, Preston.’

‘Really?’ said the boy. ‘Well, for example, when I’m on night duty and somebody comes to the gate, I have to say “Who goes there, friend or foe?” To which, of course, the correct answer is “Yes”.’

It took Tiffany a moment to work this one out, and she began to have some insight into how Preston might have a problem holding down a job.

He continued, ‘The conundrum begins if the person at the gate says “Friend”, since they may well be lying; but the lads who have to go out at night have very cleverly devised their own shibboleth with which to answer my question, and that is: “Get your nose out of that book, Preston, and let us in right now!”’

‘”Shibboleth” being…?’ The boy was fascinating.

It was not often you found somebody who could make nonsense sound wonderfully sensible.

‘A kind of code word,’ said Preston. ‘Strictly speaking, it means a word that your enemy would be unable to say. For example, in the case of the Duchess, it might be a good idea to choose a word like “please”’

Tiffany tried not to laugh. ‘That brain of yours is going to get you into trouble one day, Preston.’

‘Well as long as it’s good for something.’

Terry Pratchett  -  ”I Shall Wear Midnight”

For some reason Lady Sybil, keen of eye in every other respect, persisted in thinking of Corporal Nobbs as a cheeky, lovable rascal. It had always puzzled Sam Vimes. It must be the attraction of opposites.

The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.

- Terry Pratchett, “Men at Arms” (via twin-city-ankh-and-morpork) -
The kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.


Good Omens, Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman.

Still one of my favorite quotes ever.

(via alibrariangoestoikea)

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