Reading Discworld means constant exposure to incredibly beautiful and heartwarming moments of humanity at its best (even when its dwarfs, trolls, golems and other people), soul-breakingly grief-making depictions of the absolute banality of evil, tearjerking sights of tragedy and loss, and more
and also puns, incredibly glorious bad puns that entire plots and books have been written solely for the purpose of
and constant bouncing between all these things without warning so you will cry and laugh at the same time, you have been warned
totally worth it
‘Yes,’ said Ridcully flatly. ‘You are. We’ve got the only librarian that can rip your arm off with his leg. People respect that. Only the other day the head of the Thieves’ Guild was asking me if we could turn THEIR librarian into an ape
“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”
“That’s practically zen.
‘I don’t know,’ said Carrot. ‘Have we got an appointment?’
‘I’ve got an iron ball with spikes on,’ Nobby volunteered.
‘That’s a morningstar, Nobby.’
‘Yes,’ said Carrot. ‘An appointment is an engagement to see someone, while a morningstar is a large lump of metal used for viciously crushing skulls. It is important not to confuse the two, isn’t it, Mr-?’ He raised his eyebrows.
‘Boffo, sir. But-‘
‘So if you could perhaps run along and tell Dr Whiteface we’re here with an iron ball with spi- What am I saying? I mean, without an appointment to see him? Please? Thank you.
Tiffany blinked. ‘I think you just lost me there, Preston.’
‘Really?’ said the boy. ‘Well, for example, when I’m on night duty and somebody comes to the gate, I have to say “Who goes there, friend or foe?” To which, of course, the correct answer is “Yes”.’
It took Tiffany a moment to work this one out, and she began to have some insight into how Preston might have a problem holding down a job.
He continued, ‘The conundrum begins if the person at the gate says “Friend”, since they may well be lying; but the lads who have to go out at night have very cleverly devised their own shibboleth with which to answer my question, and that is: “Get your nose out of that book, Preston, and let us in right now!”’
‘”Shibboleth” being…?’ The boy was fascinating.
It was not often you found somebody who could make nonsense sound wonderfully sensible.
‘A kind of code word,’ said Preston. ‘Strictly speaking, it means a word that your enemy would be unable to say. For example, in the case of the Duchess, it might be a good idea to choose a word like “please”’
Tiffany tried not to laugh. ‘That brain of yours is going to get you into trouble one day, Preston.’
‘Well as long as it’s good for something.’
Terry Pratchett - ”I Shall Wear Midnight”
The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman.
Still one of my favorite quotes ever.